幽默／漫画

　　First Bull: Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.
　　Third Bull: Hell, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull.
　　
　　The Aging Explorer
　　好汉不提当年勇
　　A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
　　
　　The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."
　　
　　The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."
　　
　　The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went '''ROARRRR!'''
　　
　　
　　Four Men and Their Dogs
　　各有所长
　　
　　Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, "T-Square, do your stuff."
　　
　　T- Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff."
　　
　　Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
　　
　　Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?"
　　
　　The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."
　　
　　Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, molested the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.
　　
　　Words词汇
　　
　　rev v. 加速；加快转速
　　grapevine n. 葡萄藤
　　virile adj. 有男子气概的
　　gunbearer n.持枪者
　　soil v. 失禁
　　T-square n. 丁字尺
　　slide rule n. 滑尺
　　measure n. 量度器