There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes. The bear went first and he said,” I wish to be the only male bear in this forest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.
It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."
Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room. When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for, he answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you here for?" The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidentally bumped into the table and broke them all."
The two dogs then look over and ask the third dog what he's in for. The third dog answers, "The reason I'm here is the other day my master stepped out of the shower and she bent over. I couldn't resist, so I jumped her from behind and took her like a wild animal!"
"So I guess you're also here to be put to sleep?" says the first dog.
The third dog answers, "Nope, I'm here to get my nails clipped!"
A Bunny Story
Once there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. Once the man knew what had happened, he quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying lifeless in the middle of the road was the Easter bunny.
The man cried out, "Oh no! I have committed a terrible crime! I have run over the Easter bunny!" The man started sobbing quite hard and then he heard another car approaching. It was a woman in a red convert table. The woman stopped and asked what the problem was.
The man explained, "I have done something horribly sad. I have run over the Easter bunny. Now there will be no one to deliver eggs on Easter Day, and it's my entire fault." The woman ran back to her car.
A moment later, she came back carrying a spray bottle. She ran over to the motionless bunny and sprayed it. The bunny immediately sprang up, ran into the woods, stopped, and waved back at the man and woman. Then it ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved. It then ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved again. It did this over and over and over again until the man and the woman could no longer see the bunny.
Once out of sight, the man exclaimed, "What is that stuff in that bottle?"
The woman replied, "Its hare spray. It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave."