This Little Piggy
Five little pigs walk into a bar. The first pig asks the bartender for a beer. The pig finishes the beer and asks where the bathroom is. The second pig goes up to the bartender and asks for two beers. The second pig finishes the two beers and asks where the bathroom is. The third and fourth pig go up to the bartender and ask for three and four beers. After finishing their beers, they ask where the bathroom is.
The fifth pig goes up to the bar, but before he can order, the bartender says, "You don't have to say anything, you want five beers, right?"
The fifth pig says to him, "Right, but I'm the pig that goes pee pee all the way home.
Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood. The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously:” Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies: "Follow me. I’ll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool and puts his front paws on the bar. He looks the bartender right in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I'm a talking dog. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink for the talking dog?" The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Alright. The toilet's right around the corner."
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. The boy is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.
The firefighter says, "Hey little partner, what are you doing?"
The little boy says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."
The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. That's sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration.
The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar, and to the cat's testicles. The boy says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
genie n. 妖怪，鬼
helmet n. 头盔，钢盔
vet n. 兽医
grimly adv. 严格地，可怕地，冷酷地
chase n. 追赶，追击
convert n. 皈依者
motionless adj. 不动的，静止的
spring up 跳起来
pee n. 小便
enviously adv. 羡慕地